Eighteen Years of Experimentation – The Story of My Hair

“life is just getting your haircut, hating it, and waiting for it to grow out”

That’s a quote from my mother, lawyer, independent woman, and apparently now, philosopher.

In light of this recent, and deeply resonant remark, I thought I would share with you a simplified story of my hair through the ages.

1. I was happy, I had a short of shaggy mop that I never bothered me, it was a time of innocence and bliss.

2. I discovered the bathroom scissors, and made my little bob thing even more shaggy with a wickedy wack assymetric fringe. IT WAS BADASS.

3. Mama did not like my cool fringe, it was cut and then swaggy shaggy hair was grown out.

4. Eventually the fringe went too, might have had something to do with my habit of trying to make it stick together and spike it upwards, and then pretending I was a unicorn.

5. A young girl grows up, and learns the sophistications of the side parting and side fringe. Too cool.

6. Then to Germany! And to learn the secrets of hair dye….

7. Ah the dark side of hair dye, a sort of weird run look, didn’t care, I was a BAMF.

8. One last trip to Germany.

9. A time of normality and equilibrium and peace in the galaxy, much was depressingly normal.

10. Then one day, when no one else was around, and I was a rebel, those bathroom scissor came out again, and all the long pretty hair went in the bin. IT WAS AWESOME.

11. Family members didn’t like the wonkiness, the hair cut was to edgy for them, and I was sent back to the hairdressers. Oh so neat again.

12. BORED. Whenever I get bored I tend to end up with a fringe.

13. Then it went black. For LOLZ. It was pretty awesome, I looked like Cleopatra. Jessie J was certainly a fan.

14. Ah but it was effort, roots were my downfall, and I could never be bothered to look after that sharp fringe.

15. Then the temporary black hair dye decided never to wash out, so it had to be dyed brown again. Lazily.

16. This was a bad time, I decided to highlight my hair to try and get the black and brown out of it. It looked silly.

17. It looked a little less silly over time, but it took a loooong time, and a lot of Head and Shoulders to get it back to a vaguely acceptable colour.

18. It’s not bad in the modern day, if one looks close enough, one might spot a few hairs of a peculiar colour, but on the whole, pretty good.

Where will it go next??? I know, you will have to stick around a bit longer to find out.

P.S. Because you got all the way to the bottom, here is the hilarious proof:


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